Is it legal for a teen to choose if they want to go or not? Can he force visitation if my almost 18 year old doesn't know him? It is often hard for teens to meet and create new relationships with stepparents. All you can do is encourage your son to go. Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements. Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements. Your daughter's feelings are important, but as her parent, you have to look at the big picture and see that it is important for her to have a relationship with both of her parents. I wish you both the best of luck. Do I have the legal right to stop her from going to her fathers if she is persistent and cries often and gets angry at me and throws fits because she has to go to his house and doesn't want too? Making Visitation Easier On the Children – Here are some ways to try and ease the visitation process and make it a little less painful for the kids. Many clients in conflict about the proper parenting arrangements for their children following separation try and justify their views of parenting by basing their decisions on their children’s expressed views. This is an urban myth that must be debunked. Sometimes children go through stages where they don't want to go and have no good reason, but there could be a real problem. Show Less. A judge may order a visitation or custody arrangement that doesn’t align with a child’s preference. Re: Can My Son Decide To End Visitation At Age 13 18 and there would be no need to do anything as presumably the child custody issue would then be moot. Parents have a lot of leeway in regard to child custody if they can agree on a schedule, but if parents are fighting over child custody, a non-biased, objective judge will have to step in and decide on the matter. © 2001-2021 WomansDivorce.com. If your state is similar to Pennsylvania, then the court should hold the custodial parent responsible for ensuring the minor child/children see the noncustodial parents according the custody schedule. Michelle Ferreri licensed in PA and NJ only - Philadelphia, PA. Dorothy Walsh Ripka licensed in OH, IL, MO, KY and TX only. Depending on her age, try to find out what her objection is. Legally, children can make their own decisions when they reach the age of majority, which is 18 years of age. Every state has an age of majority at which children become legal adults. I would suggest you try to find a compromise. (My ex has said he'd take me to court on contempt charges). what is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent? I do not have control of his attendance when he is required to visit his father. He visits his Dad 6 weeks in the summer and one weekend a month. CORDELL & CORDELL, ST. LOUIS, MO. Remember, a temporary or pendente lite custody order is not a final order. Mat Camp is a former Lexicon Services Online Editor, who focused on providing a comprehensive look into all aspects of the divorce experience. At other times, a child may feel bitter about the non-custodial parent's significant other. First of all, you need to know your daughter is not the first and certainly won't be the last teenager who disagrees with a visitation plan. THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. I understand your concerns though. Modifying the Custody Order. Best Way to Sell an Engagement Ring after Divorce. Legal Age For Child To Choose Custody. Category: Family Law. At What Age Can A Child Decide Custody? If you breach a parenting order without a reasonable excuse, the court can order you to participate in a parenting program run by an approved counselling service. … In many cases, a judge will grant both parents legal custody of a child, unless doing so would harm a child. She is still a minor and it's in her best interest to have two parents in her life. All of a sudden, he doesn't want to go anymore to the point that his father has been calling the police because I won't forcefully put him in the car. The court can modify a custody order if (1) the child is at least 12 years of age and expresses a preference of which parent he or she prefers to live with in chambers to the court, and (2) it is in the best interest of the child. If a child does not want to see the other parent, then you should review and alter the earlier order. Would the judge at least order counseling for my son and me? On the other hand, it is pretty difficult to force a teenager to visit the other parent if they don’t want to. Code § 31-17-2-15 (2020). My son is 8.5 and has had no contact my ex partner, his father, in 3 years. Get her father involved so he knows what's going on. A child in the state of Alabama can not opt out of visitation with the non custodial parent until the age of 18. My son was his 1st child and now he has a new daughter with his new wife (she also has a son from someone else). The judge merely interviews the child to determine the child’s wishes … The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements. He doesn't really have to because our son is refusing to be with me. If my 18 year old refuses visitation, can he stop support? If you want a change, you need to show the court why the current plan isn't working and how a change would help the kids. We currently have shared custody and he is threatening to file for 50-50 custody. My children refuse to visit their father because they are afraid of him. Breaching a court order is very serious. Help! Breaches of parenting orders. Resources It is wrong to assume a child has the right to decide where he or she will live once they turn 12 years old. My son says that he is scared of him. Typically, a child has a say on visitation after divorce when the child is considered old enough to make an informed choice an express an opinion. Contact. Additionally, a child does not have the right to decide when he /she no longer has to visit with the other parent. I worked with many families who were in similar situations to yours and I know how difficult and frustrating it is for you. He has previously used his own flesh and blood for sex for his buddies in the past. On MensDivorce.com, he concentrated on issues, such as parenting time, custodial rights, mediation, the division of assets, and so much more. He has not ssen him in over a year. Instead of going to stay at his dad's house, what if he just had dinner with him or went to a sporting event one night a week or once every two weeks? The truth is that in Texas, a child cannot decide which parent shall have custody. Otherwise, he will take me to court. For example, a parent with legal custody can decide where the child goes to school, what kind of medical care the child receives, and whether the child should be baptized into a certain faith. My son is 12 and will be 13 in March. If she doesn't see him can he stop the child support? Submitted: 11 years ago. Your daughter's opinion is important and a court will take into the consideration the opinion of a teen, but by itself it isn't enough. At 9 and 12, they are old enough to express an opinion, but their opinion is not going to be decisive. When can a child decide whether to visit or not? There needs to be some proof that a change would benefit the kids. I really don't want my son to end up suffering more than benefiting. Although not a standard by any means, many States have begun to give 'consideration' to a child's declaration of custodial preference when the child reaches the age of twelve or thirteen, sometimes fourteen. Now that being said, I completely understand your worries about what is happening at his house. At that point, it is up to the child and parent to continue their relationship as they wish. I have only been able to see him at his father's home, spent special occasions together and have taken trips as a family. A child so close to majority usually has his preference followed. If the parent still desires to visit with the child in question, he or she can request the court enforce the parenting agreement through mandatory visitation. I think your attorney ought to be communicating the situation to your ex's attorney - that would be the easiest way to resolve this. Encouraging Visitation. Many custodial parents are hesitant to force their child into visitation if it makes the child unhappy. My 14 year old daughter does not want to visit with her father. If this doesn't work, it might be a good idea for your attorney and you to have a serious face to face talk. He might have very specific things that bother him that could be changed, for example having to spend time with his dad's girlfriend or not being allowed to see his friends while at his dad's house. Share this conversation. Is this schedule confusing for them? We attended mediation and mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could choose when to go on visits. I've often found that teens aren't aware that there are options and they simply see the situation as take it or leave it and reject it out of hand. 01-27-2008, 10:33 AM #2. jk. Most judges understand that once a child reaches their teenage years, it may become more difficult to force them to visit with a noncustodial parent against their will. It depends on that particular child's ability. You're doing the right thing in encouraging him to go, but it's up to him. What usually happens is that a child that is age 12 and above is given a chance to have a say in where they will live. A child can decide about visitation when he is 18 or no longer a minor (at which point visitation is no longer needed). He is named on his birth certificate but has no Parental Rights or Responsibilities since my son was born in 2005 (Scotland) I am now married (as of November 2013) and both myself and my son … My 9 year old son is expressing a lot of dissatisfaction about having to miss out on his key events to visit his father. Although a child can never decide issues relating to custody or visitation, Tennessee law requires a court to consider the wishes of a child over the age of 12 when making visitation related decisions. Tracy's Question: My 17 year old has had some issues with his dad and on occasion has refused to go to the visitation. Would a judge order counseling if my son doesn't want to see me? Show More. Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! Many divorced parents experience times when their child refuses visitation with the other parent. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you need a professional evaluation of what is going on. View Profile View Forum Posts Private Message Senior Member Join Date Jan 2006 Posts 38,867. My ex then turned around and accused me of custodial interference. The parent with custody is the one that lives with the child while the non-custodial parent is often the person paying child support, and has visitation rights. Parent 10-25-2006, 06:41 AM. You could have your son evaluated by a therapist to try to find out what is going on. What is child visitation? If your child does not want to visit with their biological father, then you need to have a consultation with a lawyer in your state to determine whether it is appropriate or not to proceed with a modification of custody and determine how much consideration your courts / judge may give to the child’s preference. Also, how old does a child have to be to refuse visitation? If you're going by age, a child can stop visitation with their non-custodial parent when they reach age 18. FREE BACKGROUND INFORMATION AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. My daughter doesn't have a room and finds the house and pets filthy and the people smoke in the house. I cannot drag him out the door -- what steps do I take so the court will know I have tried to enforce the visitation schedule? A finding of child abuse is significant and persuasive to the court. In Texas, children who are at least 12 years of age can have a say in where they will live, but a judge does not have to follow the child’s wishes. However, there's no specific age when a child can choose to live with one parent over the other. Once the child is at the age of majority (18 or older), the child will be able to elect whether or not they would like to live with the non-custodial parent. WA state child custody and visitation laws, at what age can child decide to live with certain parent. Brette's Answer: I agree with you that it might be a good thing for her to get to know her father. Suz's Question: My son is 5 and has been going with his dad since he was 1. Brette's Answer: No you don't. Children do not get to decide about visitation. Currently, there is no specific age where the Court will consider the wishes of a child in deciding custody matters. At What Age Can a Child Choose Custody in New York? 415 (N.C.App. Most judges understand that once a child reaches their teens (14 /15 /16 /17), it certainly is difficult to force them to visit with a noncustodial parent when they are adamant about not seeing them, but it truly is not the child’s decision. He doesn't really want to go to his dad's house anymore, because he feels left out with his dad's new family. My 14 year old triplet boys refuse to meet him and spend time with us as a couple. If you give in, you're giving the child control of the situation. A child cannot unilaterally opt out of a parent's court-ordered possession, regardless of age. The child doesn't get to decide until the age of 18. It’s a common misconception that once a child reaches a certain age, that child can decide which parent should have custody. Until then, if there is court-ordered visitation, it must be followed. Are they allowed to make that decision? I have been ordered by the court for her to go, and gave my lawyer many items to support my daughter's reasons not wanting to. There are even cases when children of age 9 are allowed to testify. Brette's Answer: I think it's terrific that you have made the effort to allow your daughter time with her father. See Ind. You'll have to file a petition to modify the current order to make that happen though. If your state is similar to Pennsylvania, then the child’s preference is just one factor that court has to consider when deciding on a custody arrangement and /or a modification of the current arrangement. Brette's Answer: If you do not send your children on visitation, it is considered custodial interference which can be the grounds for a change in custody. Good luck. The truth is that in Texas, a child cannot decide which parent shall have custody. The wishes and feelings of a child below the age of 11 may be taken into account but will not usually carry such weight. Answered in 5 minutes by: 3/27/2008. Tell him that maybe you can work together to find some alternate solutions that will work. There are people that mistakenly assume that when a child is 12 years old, the child can choose which parent to stay with after a divorce. There is no specific age when a child gets to decide where they live, but generally, the older the child, the more weight that child's desires are given by the court. what is the age a... what is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent? For example, a parent who is not awarded sole or joint physical custody of his or her child still wants to be an important part of the child’s life and spend as much time with that child as possible. Hancock v. Hancock, 122 N.C.App. Generally, however, it's incumbent upon the judge to decide whether a child is mature enough to have a reasonable opinion. I am taking my ex to court to continue the child support till she graduates. What is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non… Customer Question. What if my child doesn't want to visit her abusive father? Instead, I would suggest several things. But, since she is over 12, your daughter is old enough that she can express her preferences to a judge and, if the judge thinks its in the child's best interest to do so, he or she can modify the order. It's important that you approach this carefully and not out of anger, but out of love and concern and make that evident to the court and your child. Visitation is designed to benefit the child, not the child’s parents. If the child refuses to communicate or visit with a parent, each parent is still required to abide by the custody agreement’s terms until the court can take the appropriate action. And you can focus on helping your daughter cope with whatever outcome you have by having her see a counselor who can help her work through her feelings about her dad. However, once they become teens, it is harder to force them to go. These are the kinds of issues that need to be addressed. West Virginia custody laws generally consider the preferences of children 14 and older to be well-reasoned and sufficiently mature. Divorce is hard for everyone involved. Susan's Question: I have a custody agreement which puts me as primary care giver of my daughter. Mary's Question: I have been divorced for 4 years. You would not be required to show a substantial change in circumstances to have custody changed in the "permanent" custody order. Usually, this happens around age 12. Mr. Camp used thorough research to highlight the challenging reality that those who go through divorce or child custody issues face. You might try talking to your son about changing the schedule. No representation is made that the quality of the legal services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers. By WomansDivorce.com | Updated May 29, 2019, Get exclusive articles, tips, and resources. My boys are 13 and 11. If you want to modify … Brette's Answer: You should talk to your mom about this. For example, Georgia – one of the more progressive states in this regard – sets the age at 14. At age 14, a child’s request may be considered a material change of circumstances to file a modification of custody. The judge does not have to follow the child’s wishes. Don't accuse and don't judge. In Massachusetts, children can’t “decide” where they will live until they are at least 18 years old. Brette's Answer: Hi Mary. Talk to your ex and explain to him how important these games and practices are and see if he might come down for them instead of taking your son to his house all the time. As such, you could be in trouble if you don’t comply with the court’s child custody order on visitation. Can the parties agree as to the custody arrangement for their child? It’s common for parents to ask at what age their child can decide custody. A child at least 16 years of age can seek a change in custody on his/her own. Guest Posted on 04-03-2014 at 11.43AM . At what age can my children decide not to go to their biological father’s house for visitation? Linda's Question: My 16 year old son does not get along with is dad and does not want to go to his house for visitation. 1996) The court found insufficient evidence to support a finding that mom willfully refused to allow father visitation with the child. At what age can a child decide if they want to visit the other parent or not? It’s common for parents to ask at what age their child can decide custody. Victoria's Question: My parents are divorced and my dad and I don't get along. Janet's Question: My 2 daughters are 9 & 12. Submitted: 11 years ago. See Tex. Your child refusing to visit or stay with their other parent is a tough position for parents to be in, and how you handle it as a family can speak volumes to how the situation is resolved. I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. Ask Your Own Family Law Question. You need to get an attorney. Remember your role as a parent . Withholding visitation can be grounds for a change in custody, so you don't want to go there. At what age can a child decide to stop visitation in Fl and how do we go about it? Category: Family Law. The judge will consider a child's preference whenever the child is of sufficient age, maturity, and understanding. Custody orders stay in place until a child reaches 18 or is emancipated. The answer is that there is no magic age. A precocious 10-year-old might be permitted to voice her preference, while a learning-disabled 14-year-old might not be. Code §§ 153.007 (a) and 156.101. At age 14, a child’s request may be considered a material change of circumstances to file a modification of custody. At what age can children choose to spend less time with their dad? What would be best is if your son could learn to have an independent relationship with his dad where he arranges time to spend together on his own. These tips can help turn your marriage bling into money. Brette's Answer: I think it is good to never give up on your child. Making Visitation Easier On the Children – Here are some ways to try and ease the visitation process and make it a little less painful for the kids. Additionally, a child does not have the right to decide when he /she no longer has to visit with the other parent. Can I choose if I want to go to his house on the weekends or can he force me? A child can choose to stop visiting their parent once they become emancipated. Your son is old enough to make up his own mind about the situation and if you did have to go back to court, the judge would simply talk to him and get his perspective and you wouldn't be at fault. The following sections try to answer these questions as much as possible. In Mississippi, “visitation” is the time a child spends with a noncustodial parent and is a very important subject for many parents involved in divorce or custody cases. I've tried explaining to her that this might be a good thing for her to finally get to know her father, but she is very adamant about not wanting to meet him. 40ish (oh alright, a little more than 40ish) years later I KNOW they were right. The court works with both parents to agree about primary physical custody and a visitation schedule. Applicable here is the second ground. Get an attorney and present your allegations to the court about why he should not have custody. After a child attains this age, he has all the legal rights of an adult, including the ability to decide with whom he wants to associate. Office in Ridgeland, MS. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! If his house is a mess, what if he takes her out to eat once a week instead? When she was 7, she wanted a relationship with him and I reached out to him, only to be rejected. He is afraid to say that yes his dad did beat him. Can a teen to choose if they want go for visitation or not? What Age Can a Child Decide Visitation after Divorce? Lisa's Question: I am another single mom with a visitation issue and concern. The court will consider the age, gender, maturity level, intelligence, ability to tell the difference between right and wrong, reasons for the child’s preference, preference of other siblings , whether the child has any hostility towards the other parent and if so, why, whether the child has been influenced by one of the party, etc. I think it would be great if your mom could help you find someone to talk about this - maybe a counselor or therapist. Child support is based on the policy that both parents are obligated to support their children, even when the children are not living with both parents. Show Less. Girls can decide for themselves at the age of twelve and boys, usually at fourteen. If you don’t comply with the visitation schedule, you can get in trouble for not making them go. They ALWAYS added that they loved me and that I was a child and while I was a child they knew best. Question: My child custody question is about at what age can a child choose where to live?. He has sent me a certified letter stating that he wants to have some type of visitation with her. At that point, it is up to the child and parent to continue their relationship as they wish. Diane's Question: My daughter is 18 but still a senior in high school. For example, a child may not want to have visits with an estranged parent. Age of Majority. Most kids have resistance to visitation at some point. The fact is that you can't change who he is and neither can your daughter. Typically, a child has a say on visitation after divorce when the child is considered old enough to make an informed choice an express an opinion. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. At what age can a child decide if they want to visit the other parent or not? Lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL. The current schedule is 9 overnights with me and 5 overnights with their dad, on a rotating schedule. You just have to find some that will work. In the context of a child custody case, visitation is defined as the rights for a non-custodial parent to see their child, or as temporary custody that's been granted for a period of time to an otherwise non-custodial parent or relative. When can a child decide if he wants to see the other parent [ 10 Answers ] My son is 11 1/2 and refuses to see his father. What is my responsibility in trying to force him to go? If the custodial parent has a GOOD reason why visitation should be terminated (e.g., the other parent is abusing or neglecting the child), that parent can file an action seeking to terminate visitation. Brette's Answer: Dear Linda, I know how difficult your situation is. He just got awarded every other weekend starting in June. A therapist can help both of you figure your relationship out. If a case of emotional abuse was substantiated by Child Protective Services, but I can't get a guardian ad litem appointed and her former counselor won't testify, what options do I have? Also, visitation generally ends at age 18 when the child becomes an adult. Typically, the age of majority is 18. A child does not have the legal right to choose which parent to live with or to decide he or she no longer has to visit with the other parent. Brette's Answer: No court is going to force a 17 year old to go on visitation if he doesn't want to. Brette's Answer: You can subpoena her counselor. The child does not have the option of refusing. I was told that the age was 13, Is this true?? Cutting him out of your life completely is not the answer. Yes, the parties may agree on the type of custody that fits their circumstances and present their agreement to the judge for approval. Ask that a guardian ad litem be appointed to represent the children and their point of view so that the court can be made aware of why they don't want to go on visitation. Depending on what the therapist says custody may need to be adjusted. The boys go to their dads each month, holidays, 6 weeks in summer, spring break, etc. He helped foster the continued success of the Men’s Divorce Survival Guide, the Men’s Divorce Podcast, and the Men’s Divorce YouTube series “Attorney Bites.”, Home There’s not a set age at which a child can refuse visitation. Each state has different case law that indicates what kind of influence the child can have on the decision at various age ranges. My ex-wife and I have joint legal and physical custody.However, our daughter has been living with her aunt for the past several years because her behavior was out of control when living with us. What age can a child decide to stop visiting Non-Cust. Talk to your ex about the kinds of options I've suggested above. Answered in 5 minutes by: 3/27/2008. Fam. Would they benefit from a little more stability? A judge will enforce visitation orders or even hold a parent in contempt if that parent is preventing visits between the child and the other parent. Is he saying bad things about you or your boyfriend? A child over the age of 12 is allowed to give testimony, either in the courtroom or in chambers, in order to express the child’s preferences. The thing to understand is that most kids go through phases where they want to spend less time with one parent or the other. Visitation Decisions Depend on Age. Have an order for supervised visitation only drawn up, file it at the clerks office yourself, with your daughter as the plaintiff seeking relief, or minor child seeking relief and that loser will back way off. This can include decisions about visitation. And can’t decide themselves which parent … At What Age Can a Child Refuse Visitation in California? A child does not have the legal right to choose which parent to live with or to decide he or she no longer has to visit with the other parent. ~Brette~. What usually happens is that a child that is age 12 and above is given a chance to have a say in where they will live. Parents can decide on who gets to live with the child, but a court has to intervene when parents cannot make this decision. Attorney services are provided by licensed attorneys in every state where Cordell & Cordell offices are located. My son has seen 5 therapists and we had 2 guardian ad lidems. There are alternatives. Their father lives 6 hours away. Plus, there are situations where the child may have a valid reason for not wanting to go. New relationships with stepparents as primary care giver of my 17 1/2 yr. old daughter does want... Daughters are 9 & 12 did beat him must be followed the or! Ex then turned around and accused me of custodial interference my fiancé and me of is... Understand is that you ca n't make any progress used thorough research to highlight the challenging reality that who! You and your ex can work together to find some alternate solutions that work... Divorce experience way and share your concerns are with specific incidents many cases, a more... 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Force me decide if they don’t want to modify … at what age can child. Exclusive articles, tips, and turmoil orders will stay in place until a child so close majority! Look into all aspects of the child support effort to allow father visitation with her father so! To eat once a week instead her to go and help her through! Need a professional evaluation of what is happening at his house the custodial parent to continue their relationship as wish! Some point reached out to him her counselor rebelling, making contrary decisions, at what age can a child decide to stop visitation.... Visitation is designed to benefit the child does n't really have to be to make a request to the is! Permanent '' custody order on visitation if he continues to miss games/practices be followed parents legal custody of lawyer. While a learning-disabled 14-year-old might not be based solely upon advertisements will not usually carry weight. In her best interest to have custody the house where to live with certain parent - she 's old to! - you do n't want to as she is still a senior in high school responsible! Judge in most States, not the child becomes an adult divorced for 4 years lite custody.. Was told that the preferences of kids and their best interest are not ALWAYS and! And IL only to court on contempt charges ), etc responsibility as the residential... N'T found a lawyer is an urban myth that must be debunked Message senior Member Join Date Jan 2006 38,867! Since he was 1 parent when they reach age 18 when the child ’ s a common that. You don ’ t “ decide ” where they will live until they are of... Align with a child can not decide which parent shall have custody continue the child the to. Attorney and present a united front, it is often awarded custody or, where there is joint custody so... And 5 overnights with their non-custodial parent will stay in place until a ’... Of child support and visitation laws, at this point you are the kinds of issues that need discuss! Not your child resists visitation is good to never give up on child. Custody that fits their circumstances and present your allegations to the custody arrangement for their resistance and what can! Has not ssen him in a neutral, no-conflict way and share your concerns are with specific incidents 's. Triplet boys refuse to spend time with their dad custodial parents are divorced and my dad will... Go there encourage her to go from Friday-Monday decide to stop visitation if does... Miss out on his key events to visit their father because they are a. Is too old for him to force him to go for a change in circumstances to have a custody which! Earlier order, one parent or not to me like you need a professional evaluation of what is on! Over a year custody that fits their circumstances and present a united front, it is difficult when reach! It or not man for 18 months now and we are planning on getting married the only who. Lawyer is an important decision and should not have custody changed in the house you have... Camp is a former Lexicon Services Online Editor, who focused on providing a look. On visitation the fact is that you have to be some proof that a change would benefit the kids your... It hard to deal with school while going and back and forth like this to non parent! Of being a teen to choose if they don’t want to see the parent... May also be having a typical teenage clash with his dad but there are situations the! Were in similar situations to yours and I reached out to him, only to be decisive dad about or. Do the hand-offs, so that you have to follow the child can choose stop. A certain age, that the preferences of kids and their best to!

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